I just dropped my first born off for another year of school. First grade this time. She was so excited! She popped out of bed at 6:47 this morning and that is the earliest in a looong time she has woke up. She was giddy about her outfit she picked out. She thought her teacher would love her new shoes. She was ready.
Me? Well that’s different. My heart hurts. I was hoping it wouldn’t be as painful this year. It wouldn’t be as hard. Maybe I couldn’t cry. All that was untrue. It hurts. My heart feels like it is on the floor. I think last year it felt like it was on the floor never to be picked up again because it was in too many pieces after it shattered. It isn’t that bad this year. But it is on the floor. And it does hurt.
I told Nathan the other night that the day I drop off all four kids off at Vandergriff may be the worst day of my life. Maybe that was a little dramatic but that is how I feel. Good or bad they are my life. My strength is God getting me through this. My constant prayers make me rely on Him. I will be in constant communication with Him today praying for Hadley. Praying for all of my friends kids that are starting today. For my community group members that are all starting a new year a life changes have happened in almost all of our families. And praying for my husband and his new group of fourth graders at a new elementary school (new to him, old to the city). I’m thankful I don’t have to take this burden upon myself but I can unload it on someone much bigger than I.