The Loop

You would think just having four kids under the age of 5 would be a big enough loop right?  Finding out we were 2 months pregnant weeks after we adopted a beautiful baby should also be a big enough loop right?  Well apparently those weren’t  God had other plans for this mama.  Here is my loop.

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Ok so she isn’t the loop.  Her SLEEP is.  Now I have always heard of bad sleepers but to be honest I always thought it was partially the mom’s fault.  (Ok, let’s be honest, almost all the mom’s fault).  Well I have been PUT IN MY PLACE people.  Now I do believe still there are a lot of mom’s who create bad sleepers but now I do believe there are really just BAD sleepers!  I never imagined a cute little nugget like this could drive me as crazy as she does!  She has missed the memo on being my fourth child.  She missed the memo that she is suppose to be sharing a room with her sister who has been shunned to the upstairs pack n play.  She missed the memo that SLEEP IS AWESOME.  I knew I had good sleepers in the past, and I knew I was lucky.  But now I am learning how lucky I was.  Four kids later and this little lady keeps me up all night long! I try not to complain about this too much because I always hear people complain about sleep and honestly it is just part of having kids, a baby, you just don’t get much sleep.  I am certainly not writing this for sympathy either.  I don’t want sympathy and honestly I don’t want someone to take my baby so I can take a nap.  I want my baby to SLEEP.  I turn to my blog because here I can vent without being judged by others (well maybe I am judged but I don’t know about it).  I am at a loss of what to do with Amelia.  The lack of sleep I am getting affects my others kids and that breaks my heart.  She can be a happy baby and I can’t wait to know how happy she will be when she is fully rested.  She is lucky she is so stinking cute, those cheeks, otherwise we may not make it through this alive.  For now, I am hoping something changes soon.  If I get brave enough I will try some new things.  I am so scared they won’t work though.  Prayers are appreciated.  I often question WHY did God give me this child that doesn’t sleep? Why did he throw me this loop? I continue to pray though.  And I will continue.

(I am sorry some of my blog posts are debbie-downers but I feel like I can express my feelings here when I feel like sometimes there is no where else to go.  I promise I have a lot of fun with my kids and I don’t blog about that because I am enjoying them too much!  This is a tough season in my life and when there are good times I REALLY want to enjoy them! Happy posts to come one day!) 

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